Invitation to Be With

Hello Friends,

As the season of change approaches, I am invited to consider how I traverse life’s complexities (divorce crisis with COVID-19 crisis) as Divine Love is with us. Especially as my girls and I, prepare for school, routines and bustling productivity. This year’s added complexity with the impact of COVID-19 on our school systems and our way of life may be different from last but it is no longer a new change.

It has become another invitation to notice and ponder how I live. 

There are times in my life where I run in front of Divine Love with all that I am, glimpsing back to see if I am seen. My motivation to run ahead changes, sometimes it is for good reasons (I feel free and the path seems pretty clear) and other times it is for not so good reasons (trying to be good enough to be loved).

Divine Love throws blessings in my direction but because I am running so fast, the blessings only fall on the back of my heels as I push forward trying to do more and more and more. I see the Spirit at work and I grow weary as I strain to do what I think I am supposed to be doing.

My driven heart posture limits my view and my presence with Divine Love, myself and those in my life.

There are times in my life where Divine Love is walking ahead of me at a comfortable pace and there seems to be an invisible rope that pulls me along. As I shoulder my load (more like carrying the boulder of being a lone decision maker on my stomach), I have got my heels dug in out of fear, shame or I'm not ready for what Love is inviting me to.

While I am behind Divine Love, the blessings roll off their fingertips and hit the tips of my toes of my dug in feet. I have a presence of mind to know Love is there and blessing me but fear and shame limits my view and attention to Divine Love; I am in survival mode unable to receive.

These postures carry the load of life in different ways, neither one is good or bad, they both are coping with hard, sometimes the traumatic. The runner may carry the load by limiting the weight, casting it off or minimizing it so it can fit in their back pocket. The runner in its drive to stay light and nimble may run from the danger of fear and shame. Avoiding the danger does keep the runner alive for a time, but over exertion of the body and soul leads to fatigue.

The runner will come to the end of themselves because while humans can run, their body was not intended to always be in a state of striving and achieving.

The dug-in may carry the load of life by allowing the weight of the load to be the only perspective and perception. Where each facet of life is a too heavy a burden to shoulder but is taken on because that is how life is. And on top of life’s boulders, fear & shame jump up and down having a good ol’ time. The dug-in can only stay stagnant for so long.

The human spirit and body was made to move, exercise and lift. The heart, body and spirit muscles were not designed to atrophy.

There is a balance of sorts, a paradox of a life being with Divine Love. Abiding while in crisis on crisis. This metaphor quickly allows us to consider where we are in relationship with Divine Love and with ourselves. We know intuitively that neither is sustainable nor pleasant for very long. But it may be all we have known. We may not know how to change, rest or just be but this metaphor invites us to become aware of how we are loved and where an alternative path, a third way could be a door way to another path.

What does it look like for you to be with Divine Love in this season? 

Trusting that a different pace for your soul, body, and mind will unfold greater freedom and wholeness. 

Grasping the reality of abundant resources of time, love and grace are hidden in plain site.

Accepting your dignity is honored as you say “yes,” “no,” "maybe," and "not yet."

Appreciating how fiercely loved you are for just being you and being right where you are. 

My dear friends, through it all Divine Love is never holding you back, dragging you or walking away from you, instead the Spirit goes before you, is with you (inside of you) and is hemming you in. Divine Love is holding you together as you learn, test, try and wrestle with what it is for you to be with in such a time as this. Love welcomes the journey at whatever your pace because unconditional Love never invades or evades you, instead Love is with you.

In the Spirit’s Grip Together,

Audre