Walking With Giants
I was invited to walk, talk, listen, and be amongst giants on a hike I took a few months ago. Giant redwoods are fat and stocky, and their roots spread out wide amongst the forest's surface, entangling with other plant life as they lived in harmony. The enormity of their body beside mine made me feel small, yet I occupied a space of dignity.
In the beginning, I did the usual; I was on automatic pilot. It was all about arriving at the waterfall and completing the hike.
A few steps in, my attention was drawn quickly to where my feet landed because of the risk of tripping over the giant's exposed roots. It overwhelmed my soul and body, so I slowed my pace.
The air felt pregnant with nuggets of gold.
I stopped because I wondered what wisdom could be deciphered in the language of the giant trees and their roots. As I paused to breathe, I noticed the roots inviting me to listen differently than I had on other hikes. Could I discern the indistinguishable? I didn't want to neglect the beauty of each step, breath, or utterance of the giants and their roots.
It was apparent that the moment's density broke the adulting trance. The urgency and responsibilities push and pull in conflicting directions. It can be hard to know if I am coming or going. The limited time and space cause duress and self-preservation.
The tension and uneasy feelings are an invitation to investigate what may be underneath it all.
The feeling inside is numb. The pain of numbness isolates me and beckons me to seek another way to connect.
The goodness of my soul desired mutual connection, to be whole and present. It was time to pay attention to the path; the exposed roots were there for a reason. They slowed my pace. I was invited to linger, notice the beauty of the giants, listen to the language of the roots, and sense an energy of understanding within the community of the forest.
By accepting the invitation, I arrived at a safer place for my soul to show up and be seen, heard, and known. Similarly, joining a Spiritual Direction Group invited me to a generous and guilt-free space.
In the community, my self-preservation, shame, fear, and judgmental habits bubbled up. They were gently held with acceptance and compassion. Our guide gave me guardrails to co-create a safe community without prescribing what it should look like or how to show up. I mirrored how to listen without fixing or judging. I was encouraged to uncover resonance and resistance in a way that was non-threatening for my soul. I experientially tended to my most significant needs and desires by creating space for myself.
It has taken time, practice, and my consent to lean into the edges of my limited understanding. The edges have softened and expanded as I have walked with Grace and Divine Love.
I have longed for enough space within me to hear with my whole being instead of just my mind or heart. It's a longing grounded in my desire for an intimate connection with Divine Love. The divine is infinite and bigger than I once knew.
I resisted considering the possibility that plants and humans could share sacred communal wisdom and an inaudible language. I doubted nature could draw me into greater intimacy with Divine Love. Accepting the feelings of resistance and doubt broke the captive chains of unhealthy, restrictive religiosity. I was invited to embrace a new way of connecting with the Divine and myself, where the Word continues speaking on a walk with giants in the forest.
